Mello walked in silence, ignoring the sympathetic looks from the others. This wasn't the first funeral he'd been to; he was used to them. A few feet away, he could see the coffin. Mello was afraid to look inside. He probably couldn't handle it. The moment he'd look into it, he thought he might have a mental breakdown. As he walked, he turned his head slightly to see some of the people gathered. He recognized the little albino sitting in the second row. Mello was suprised that for once, Near's face wasn't emotionless. He saw some sorrow in his features. Near noticed him looking at him. He gave Mello a small encouraging nod, as if to say, "You can do this, Mello. Say your final farewell. There's nothing to be ashamed of."
Mello turned his attention back to the coffin in front of him. The lid was off. Mello closed his eyes for a moment, imagining the worse. He took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and looked inside the coffin.
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd
Need you there when I cry
Mello immediatly bit the inside of his mouth to supress the sobs he felt coming. There he lay, the person who Mello cared for more than anything in the world. His red hair was neatly combed and he was wearing the only suit that he owned. His beautiful green eyes were closed, and if Mello imagined hard enough, he could have been sleeping. If only it weren't for the multiple wounds he recieved from Kiyomi Takada's bodyguards. Mello could tell that whoever had prepared him before this had tried their best to conceal them. Mello felt the tears welling up in his eyes. "Matt..." he whispered.
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
"I'm so sorry," he continued. "This is all my fault. I ran away from Wammy's House, hoping that that was enough to protect you from Kira. You managed finding me, though I'll never know how you did. Now I can never ask. I should have just left. I should have never agreed to let you help me catch Kira. But I was desperate. I didn't think that you would..." Mello's voice trailed. He could bare to finish it. He couldn't admit the fact that his best friend was dead, even with Matt's corpse in front of him.
He remembered that fateful day. He remembered talking with Matt. He promised him that everything would be back to normal if they succeeded. He gave him some hope. And for what? Only for Matt to end up to dying a painful, brutal death.
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
Mello heard footsteps behind him and felt a hand on his shoulder. "It's not your fault," the person said. Mello recognized it as Near's voice. Mello shook his head, more tears streaking his face. "You don't understand," he argued. "If it weren't for me, Matt would still be alive. If someone had to die, it should have been me. Matt hasn't done anything wrong that deserves death. I'm the one who kidnapped Takada. I'm the one who wanted to be the one to catch Kira. I'm the one who sacrificed all of those lives in order to catch him, including Matt's. I should be in that coffin, not him."
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
Near moved up next to Mello. "You're wrong," he said softly. "After you left, I had plenty of talks with Matt. He told me how he wished you would have taken him with you. I told him that you didn't because you were trying to protect him. Do you know what he told me in response?" Mello wiped his eyes and shook his head. "He said, 'I don't care about the risks. I don't care if Kira kills me with his own bare hands. Mello knows that I would do anything for him. If someone had a gun pointed at him, I'd throw myself in front of him and take the bullet. I'd die for that guy. I hope he knows that,'" Near replied somberly.
Mello looked at Near suprisingly. "H-He said th-that...?" he said, choking on his sobs. Near nodded. Mello burried his face in his hands. "Why, Matt...?" he asked silently. "You two were close friends. I'm guessing you would do the same for him?" Near said. Mello didn't say anything. It was true. Mello would do anything to protect Matt. They've been friends for so many years. With no parents or relatives to rely on, Matt was the only person Mello had left.
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok
"But why Matt...?" Mello asked himself silently. Near shook his heaad, for once not knowing what to say. "Maybe it would seem a bit rude of me to say this. It's a common saying. 'Everthing happens for a reason.' Matt died not just for you, but for the people of the world who had a strong sense of justice and hated Kira. Don't blame yourself for this. He wouldn't want you to," he ended up telling him. Mello looked again at Matt's dead body. He reached inside the coffin and softly touched Matt's cheek with the back of his hand; his skin was ice cold. This made Mello flinch. He inhaled deeply.
"Maybe you're right," he addmitted silently. Then, he reached for his back pocket and got something out. Near recognized them as Matt's goggles. Mello quietly placed them next to Matt. It was one of the things that symbolized their friendship. He would rarely leave a place without them, minus the fact that he couldn't see without them. Mello smiled softly.
"I miss you."